A message to our fans and readers (and ourselves)
It is OK to suck at stuff.
We recently wrote a new tune about embracing the idea that you in no way need to be good at everything you do for it to bring you joy. I felt particularly moved to broach the subject in song, as our 9-going-on-40-year old seems to be greatly disappointed in himself if he doesn’t perfect a new skill within one or two attempts at it. As I have watched him struggle and apologize for his failures, I have been extraordinarily aware that it is sadly a character trait that does not fall far from the maternal tree.
Rudy’s dad is wonderful at showing his failures when attempting a new skill, or anything he has not quite mastered. (I almost said “exposing himself”, but thought better of it and then had to include it, but in an aside, so as to not get CPS called on us.) He laughs at himself easily, tries again, fails again, and so on and so forth. He doesn’t beat himself up or call attention to the offense, writhing around dramatically on the floor in a great scene of disapproval in himself. He just moves on and keeps trying. Sometimes, with no intention of perfecting the skill, just enjoying the challenge set before him and the human experience associated with brain waves and physical abilities (or limitations) working together to do something new.
I am quite the opposite.
Blessed with the curse of being “above average” at a few choice things, and the ability to sufficiently bullshit my way through most projects to produce an acceptable outcome without ever really having to have “learned” or even correctly executed the skill, (which I must say, is quite a skill in and of itself…) I have developed a horrible habit of not wanting to try stuff or put myself out there if I feel like I may come across as amateur, ignorant, or just plain foolish. I do feel like I have gotten a bit better at this at least in work, as demonstrated in my writing process with Jared. I freely share undeveloped ideas, melodies, etc. I have him help me with guitar chords and struggle through vocal riffs, screeching like a pubescent boy. It used to be that I wouldn’t even bring something to him unless it was a fully developed song or act or whatever. Part of this stems from my crazy desire to please every living thing around me, somehow convincing myself that if I fail at something, I let everyone down and ruin the whole world. This is a VERY narcissistic way of thinking because it implies that everyone actually gives a shit about what I’m doing and is hyper-focused on my every move…but they don’t. People aren’t watching me to make sure I get everything right so they can sleep better at night! For goodness sakes, they are all just trying their best to get through their own lives, one day at a time, with a modicum of success and self-respect. But I digress…
The bottom line is that I’m still learning. We all are. And, in true Champagne Sunday fashion, I had to put a song out there, exposing my own weaknesses, making light of what could be years of PTSD, assuring others that we’re in this together, and it is absolutely ok to suck at stuff. Nobody cares.
So, in the true spirit of sucking at stuff, I went to the TikTok. I struggle so bad with social media and trying to master and keep up with all the new editing tools, uploads, down dogs, tags, zip-zaps, blah, blah, blah… But I had an idea to do a five-part series of this new song, filming at different stops along the way to our first gig on tour. The result was an absolutely inconsistent display of videos, complete with goofy hash browns (or tags), badly generated lyrics, some not at all, maybe filters, strange camera angles, and a LOT of frustration and self-doubt. But, for anyone who thinks the idea is quirky enough to buy into, and wants to enjoy some CS content, give the videos a watch and a listen and a laugh-at. My sweet husband will include links to do so, because, even though I’m allowing myself to freely and openly “suck at stuff”, I want some things done correctly and efficiently.
Here are the lyrics, in case you’d like to follow along:
It’s ok to suck at stuff
It’s ok to be absolute crap
If you’re happy, that’s probably enough
If you have fun, or it makes you laugh
It’s ok to suck
You can tell totally garbage jokes
Where no one spits out their milk or even chokes
You can be a fashionista with no sense of style
You can go for a run…but walk most of the mile
You can cook a mediocre meal
Make paintings to match how you feel
They may never hang in a fancy museum
But don’t be sad if no one comes to see ‘em
Cuz it’s ok to suck at stuff
It’s ok to be absolutely crap
If you’re happy, that’s probably enough
If you have fun, or it makes you laugh
It’s ok to suck
You can go roller skating and fall down
As long as you are not seriously hurt
And if somebody laughs at you on the ground,
Politely flip them the bird (cuz they deserve it)
You can gardening not grow a thing (all my flowers died)
Just try again in the summer or spring (it’s too hot outside)
You can cut your own hair without using a mirror
You don’t have to be great at a thing not to fear it
But there are some things
There are some things you shouldn’t suck at
There are some things better left to those who
More qualified to do them…
Tattoos
Marine biology
Extracting a tooth
(Proctology)
Jazz
(But how could you even tell?)
Let’s take that one off of the list
(It’s just as well)
How about wedding-cake-maker
Predicting a quake or
Advanced pyrotechnics
Designing prosthetics
Open heart surgery
Intricate burglaries
Building a house
Laying tile and grout
Birthing a calf or a baby giraffe
Dissecting a body
Installing a potty
Driving a train
Giving planets their names
Working with tigers
Or MMA fighters… buuuut
But you can suck at showing your love
As long as you’re honest you can make a mess of it
It doesn’t have to be pretty or particularly eloquent
As long as you try
And just be yourself with it
It’s ok…
And for just a little something that doesn’t suck, here’s a pic our friend Rich took at our house while we’re gone and he’s living his best rock star life…
