Where’s Waldette?

Are Jared and I “Tranny Attractors”? We seem to always be in the right place at the right time for these various sightings. I will explain.

“Big Momma” Tranny: A large wo-man, described in detail in a previous blog, we met at a gig in Seattle. (remember the pink teddy-bear nightgown she wore and floral carpet bag she carried?)

The Singing Tranny: A very tall “lady” whose shoes I commented on and who sang, “We Built This City”, at karaoke a couple weeks back. (Jared also ran into “herm” at the airport last night.) This wo-man was in a very skimpy dress with very surgically enhanced boobies, that Jared felt conflicted about looking at because they so glaringly contradicted his “all boobs are good boobs” theory. (I also saw an extremely drunk man pee his pants behind Jared and forgot to tell him because we were in serious conversation with a friend…but there it is.)

The Dump-n-Fill Tranny: Spotted while dumping our rv poo tank in Federal Way. Think slim-built 70’s rocker with long, black straight hair, broad shoulders and black t-shirt. Now, add neon pink tights and silver strappy, “Follie’s Girl” high heels, all kept together in a neat little package (no pun intended) under a very small and snug mini skirt. Got it? Ok, now imagine the wo-man blowing a snot-rocket out of his nose, while his similarly dressed girlfriend/travel companion looks on (in complete adoration, I’m sure) and they formulate their attack plan on how to approach us and bum a cigarette. Even Etta didn’t want to go near them.

These are some ‘for sure’ trannies that we’ve had the supreme pleasure of actually meeting and talking to. However, there are some we haven’t met, just seen. So, I’ll give honorable mention to the young boy we saw walking down a very steep hill in nylons and heels, and the three, beauty-queen-dressed wo-men we spotted at the Taste of Tacoma. (Though my brother, Caanan swears they were real women. Yes, 7 foot tall, muscley-backed women with large feet and Adam’s apples…only in a perfect world, brother!) Oh yeah! I also would like to give a shout-out to a long ago tranny, “Ms. Red Shoes”. A well-dressed, briefcase carrying, grey suited man, with a republican tie and haircut to match, who would frequent my restaurant, enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and a pastry or so, all while wearing BRIGHT RED HEELS! He’s still my favorite, I think.

Is it us? The funny part is, we don’t really care. We just find that it happens an unusual amount of the time to us. And it’s not like they are the beautiful, really glamorous, done-up, drag show trannies who put most of us women to shame. Nope. They are the worn-out, run-down, usually smoking and sporting a 5 o’clock shadow, depressed-looking men, who just happen to be in women’s clothes. Usually not the right size either. Lucky us. Ah well, to each, hers own!