What is the old adage…”If at first you don’t succeed…”? Yes, we all know the rest. Or, “When one door closes…”. These are beautifully packaged life philosophies, each of which, if neatly written on pretty, little yellow Post-It notes, one could cover the inside of their coffin with. Just to be reminded for all of eternity that they were a non-personal load of poo.

I have come up with some cliche-phrase make-overs that I feel are more apropos for, if not everyone, our life, and how we live it.

1. If at first you can’t find parking, make your own spot…in front of a funeral home, perhaps. This way, if you’re too loud or have to run your generator to have light so you can make delicious, spicy bratwurst and creamy mustard sandwiches, you don’t disturb anyone. I suppose if you actually DID wake someone up in the middle of the night at a funeral home, we would be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, and we’d have much bigger problems than parking.

2. When one door closes, stand outside of it crying until the bartender offers you a sampling of their unique, tea infused bourbon. This is a very important one because if you just wait for another door to open, you could be standing there, waiting forever. In this case, looking pathetic and being wonderfully self-deprecating was a tactic to get free booze, which, in turn, drowned our sorrows, AND, because we sat at the bar long enough, we actually got some people in that we got to play music for.

3. Misery loves company and there’s no one I’d rather be miserable with than YOU. This one is a key to our success. 2 six packs of Bud Light Platinum and some great self discovery conversation later, Jared and I remained highly positive that no one else has the constitution to handle being broke, unappreciated and alone, quite like we do. Cheers!

4. Money makes the WHEELS go ’round. In the original phrase, the word “wheels” is replaced with “world”. Well, at this point, the world is gonna do what the world is gonna do. Environment, politics, entertainment, causes, world leaders, etc., they are going to keep going, long after we’re gone, money or not. I mean, technically, our country is doing so poorly as far as money goes and I don’t see the world coming to a screeching halt anytime soon. But, without people buying cd’s, paying cover charges, and tipping us, our wheels WILL come to a screeching halt.

And, last but not least, a famous movie quote, and one I do NOT have to change…

5. You can ALWAYS depend on the kindness of strangers. Jared and I met Richard this morning. He gave up his seat by the window so we could sit inside and have Etta tied up right next to us and still be outside. Then, he gave Jared several names of people and venues he knew of to contact about booking. Then, as he was leaving, he offered us a place to stay right outside of Bend, OR. A giant piece of land where we could “relax and write”, as he put it. I thought he had left when he returned with a dog treat he had purchased from the counter for Etta. That sealed it. We’re smitten.

So, maybe these will work for you in your life adventures, maybe not. Either way, “When in Rome…”

2 Replies to “On funeral homes, questioning ourselves and meeting Richard…”

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